Kane at CARNIVAL?!
June 1, 2010, 3:44 PM
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The past couple years of high school and college have been full of amazing-ness. I’ve had so many memorable moments of growth and beauty. This past week has definitely been one of the high points of my journey both as a person and as a dancer.

To put this experience into perspective… I never EVER EVER EVER x100 thought I would get the opportunity to perform at CARNIVAL in Hollywood. EVER. To me it’s pretty much the highest honor to perform there among dancers and choreographers that have had decades of experience. (I’ve only been dancing for 3 years).

So walking into Avalon (the venue where Carnival is now held), I was in an alternate universe where literally everyone was a professional industry dancer. My mind was blown by all the talent… a dancers dream to be around all these people.

During tech time, my jaw dropped after each number. I was inspired, scared, nervous, breathless, eager, excited, and more, and all at the same time.

One of the many moments of inspiration was a number by Shaun Evaristo featuring Dana Wilson, Sh*t Kings, Keone Madrid and others. It was better each time I saw it on stage. Made me re-evaluate everything I felt about dance, music interpretation, emotion, and movement. Each of the performances during rehearsal hit me like a big yellow school bus. Each one however shocked me in a different and unique way.

After doors at 10pm and before the actual show which began at 11pm. The floor was open for dancers to freestyle. Twitch from SYTYCD was tearin up with his freestyle. I’d never thought I’d see this live because I’d only seen him on TV and YouTube. Everyone was comfortable housing, whacking, locking, breaking all over the place. Pretty much my heaven version of a nightclub.

After our tech rehearsal and dress rehearsal, I felt a lot less nervous. I’d gotten a little more comfortable on stage since the first time I performed 3 years ago. Especially since we’ve done this “Collide” set a few times before. But right before we went on stage for the actual show, I was SCARED OUT OF MY MIND. This is a room FULL of professional dancers and choreographers, if you screwed up, they’d know. I was scared I’d forget the movements etc…

Before we went on, my team D.o.C (Definition of Creativity) had a huddle with a good pep talk that got us ready to go. We got on stage, got in our position behind the curtain and waited while the host spoke for another 2 minutes. While sitting behind the curtain, I looked around and felt so lucky to be around my dance family. At that moment I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere or with anyone else.

I remember sitting in my position while the the host was talking. Looking up at those iconic neon CARNIVAL letters.

I’m thinking “WHERE THE EFF AM I” It was seriously one of the moments where it is so surreal that you pinch yourself to see if it’s reality. Or when you know that you can check off an important bullet point in your secret life goals that you thought was once impossible.

That’s how I felt, and for the next 3 minutes it’s a complete blur. Which you can watch here.

(I’m in the grey jacket over a green hood, grey pants, and white t-shirt on the right side).

Moments like these are what makes life worth challenging myself for. Even though I rarely have a specific plans for myself, I know I just want to be happy and live my life the way I want day by day. And I am truly grateful for when things fall into place and take shape. :] Life is truly about moments and this is definitely a beautiful one that I never expected.

Thanks to Kris Babao (director of D.o.C.) and thank you to every one of my amazing D.o.C. family members.


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